


Working It Out

by violasarecool



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-05-16 22:26:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14820060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violasarecool/pseuds/violasarecool
Summary: loving two such vastly different men was never going to be simple, or easy. but then, nothing worthwhile ever was.





	1. Prologue

Omega. A cesspit of eezo trafficking and narcotics, criminals and terrorists. They'd only been on the planet for less than a day, and already they'd stumbled on a fatal disease—cured it—and signed onto a mercenary group in an attempt to find the third of their potential contacts on Omega: one vigilante calling himself "Archangel". It was all rather over-dramatic, but after joining forces with the very terrorist organization the Normandy and her original crew had spent months fighting, Brynn felt like maybe some dramatics were called for.

Evidently the galaxy agreed with her.

Which was how Brynn found herself climbing a narrow staircase up to yet another unknown, accompanied by a human bounty hunter and a salarian doctor, both of whom she'd met only hours earlier. It hardly mattered, though; a choice between strangers she'd met that day and Cerberus agents she'd known a few days longer wasn't much of a choice. Either way, she could only count on herself.

The stairway opened out onto a wide terrace, couches and tables at various points across the floor, Brynn noted, points of cover should this go wrong. At the far end, a figure sat on the ledge, one taloned foot propped up on a stack of crates. "Shepard," he said, and his voice sent a jolt of recognition through her, stopping her in her tracks. She could only stare as he leaned forward, his head tipped. "I thought you were dead."

"Garrus," Brynn breathed. The sound echoed in her darkened helmet, and she reached up to remove it. "What are you doing here?"

"Just keeping my skills sharp," he said casually. "A little target practice."

Brynn smiled, shook her head at him. "You okay?"

"Been better," he admitted, "but it sure is good to see a friendly face."

"You can say that again," Brynn agreed, gaze flitting across his blue-streaked face. God, it was good to see that stupid visor again. "How did you know it was me, anyway? New armour, my helmet was up the whole time..."

"Shepard, please. I'd know you anywhere," Garrus said, with a smile that was almost fond. Then, before she had time to reply, he added "you were _actually good,_ for one thing," his grin widening as Brynn laughed. "Nothing like those dime a dozen mercs. Not to mention when you started shooting the other mercs, well," he gestured off with one hand, "that was a bit of a give away."

"I guess that would do it," Brynn agreed.

"Also," Garrus added, "you kind of hunch in on yourself when you're setting up a really long shot." He mimiced the gesture, his own shoulders forward. "I could almost see your sniping face just from your posture."

Brynn opened her mouth, then closed it, mouth pursed in amusement. Yeah, okay. Now that he said it, she could see his sniping face with the motion, like all those times they'd set up on a hard metal rooftop, taking turns to peer through the scope. Waiting for tiny figures to move a _little_ closer. She grinned, shaking her head at him, and he grinned back, the sight so familiar it made her chest ache.

There was a cough behind her, and she suddenly remembered they weren't alone.

"Right, sorry," Brynn said, turning hastily to wave Zaeed and Mordin over. "This is an old friend, Garrus Vakarian..."

* * *

As time passed, the new Normandy began to feel less foreign—working with Cerberus would never feel _normal_ , but it helped that there were still old crew members like Joker, Chakwas, and Garrus there to anchor Brynn, familiar faces in a strange situation. She found herself increasingly spending time with her old crew, taking shelter in the familiarity when things became too overwhelming.

So in the aftermath of their mission to Horizon, Brynn found herself pacing down toward the ship's battery without really thinking about it.

"Hey," she said shortly, pausing in the doorway as Garrus turned at the sound of her voice.

"Shepard," Garrus said, "uh, hey. Come in."

Brynn stepped inside, the doors sliding closed behind them. Garrus leaned back against the railing, then, when she didn't immediately say anything, swiped a finger across the holographic screen beside him.

Shepard strode across the metal floor, boots clanging with each step. "I'm not doing this for Cerberus!" she burst out.

Garrus made a sympathetic noise. "I know."

"No one else would even—and Cerberus—" She paced back and forth. "How could Kaidan even _think_ that after what we fought for?"

"I don't think he really _was_ thinking," Garrus said wryly.

Brynn snorted. They stood there for a moment, the hum of machinery a gentle undercurrent that Brynn only noticed when all other noises ceased. She shook her head, sat down on the wide crate by the wall. "I was so relieved to see another familiar face. I didn't even _imagine_ he wouldn't be happy to see me."

Garrus didn't say anything, hand still posed over the holographic display. After a moment, he straightened, and came and sat beside her.

"It's weird, working with Cerberus, isn't it," Brynn said. It wasn't really a question, given all that had happened; an acknowledgement of what had to be.

"Yeah."

"Don't get me wrong, the people we're working with are pretty good, Cerberus bullshit aside," Brynn said, and Garrus chuckled, "but I miss the old crew. I miss working with people I trust."

"Well, _Cerberus bullshit_ aside," Garrus said, "did you _really_ trust all of us when we first started? A quarian and asari scientist you knew nothing about? A krogan bounty hunter, a _rogue C-Sec agent?"_ His voice took on a teasing tone at the last comment. "I mean, hell, Wrex killed a guy out from under us while we were still trying to talk to him. We all had our own motivations."

"Yeah, I guess so. You were already investigating Saren, though," Brynn said.

"Mm. But I seem to recall you taking issue with my methods," he said, giving her an amused look.

Brynn laughed. "That's right, you and your _bad boy Turian_ act."

"My... what?" Garrus said, voice cracking. "I wouldn't say—what?"

Brynn raised her eyebrows. _"I'm tired of regulations getting in my way,"_ she said, voice dropping to mimic his, _"I'll do whatever it takes to find Saren, even if I have to break the law—but we should still check in with C-Sec every now and then to make sure we're not breaking too many rules."_

"Wow," Garrus said, and Brynn laughed. "I guess I sound pretty dumb when you put it like that."

"No, I'd never say that," Brynn said, eyes creased with laughter, "you were just very enthusiastic. Can't fault a guy for wanting to do his job."

"Hmm." Garrus narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously, but she only gave him a fond look. After a moment, he looked down, cleared his throat. "Anyway... for what it's worth, I think you made the right choice. Moral superiority doesn't mean a damn thing if you're debating formalities while people are dropping like flies."

Brynn gave him a tired smile. "Thanks, Garrus."

* * *

They lay sprawled across Brynn's bed, breathing slowing in the low light, bare legs tangled across a mess of sheets and discarded blankets. Brynn tipped her head toward Garrus, then pushed herself up onto her elbow, turning onto her side to look at him. He blinked at her, slow, contented, arms stretched out behind him on top of a pile of pillows. "Yes?" he murmured.

She made a humming noise, pulse thudding in her ears as she considered her words carefully. "Okay, so, tell me if I'm reading this wrong, but—" _This wasn't just a one time thing, right? I haven't been imagining things, or... oh, fuck it._ "I really, _really_ like you, Garrus," she blurted out, "which I mean in the most highschool way possible, god help me, though I refuse to say _like like_ on principle."

Garrus gave a surprised laugh. "Well, you just did..." he said, and Brynn gave his pillow stack an exasperated shove. "Alright, alright!" he protested, grabbing them before they slid out from under him. "If you're reading this wrong... Shepard— _Brynn_ ," he said, voice softening on the word, "I think I've had a crush on you since that mess with Doctor Saleon."

Brynn blinked at him. "Really?"

" _Spirits_ , yeah," Garrus said, giving her a look that was half-resigned, half-amused. "I'll never forget what you said, afterward: 'You can't predict how people will act, but you can control how you respond.'"

"Did I say that? You sure you're not quoting some philosopher, here?" Brynn teased.

"Pretty sure, yeah," Garrus said, eyes narrowing playfully.

"Hmm." Brynn turned her head up toward the ceiling, leaned her arms back behind her head. She could see the garage in her mind, Garrus standing by the Mako in his old blue and black C-sec armor. "And you said, 'I've never met anyone like you'," she murmured.

"You remember that, huh."

Brynn rolled back toward Garrus, laying the side of her head against the bed so they were properly facing each other now. "I was thinking about it recently. Can't say I gave it much thought at the time—things were crazy, with Saren, and..."

"Kaidan," Garrus supplied helpfully. Brynn laughed.

"Yeah... There wasn't much time to think about what we were doing, you know? First we're chasing down a rogue spectre, then there's civilians getting in the crossfire, and there's rachni, and geth, and husks, and Reapers... There was barely time to breathe before something else was breaking down. I still don't know how I feel about most of it."

"Me neither," Garrus said.

"Yeah."

After a moment, Garrus stretched out a hand toward hers, lightly tapped her palm with one talon. "And now?"

Brynn closed her fingers around his, and smiled. "I feel pretty good about this."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seeing kaidan again for the first time didn't happen the way brynn expected

After months of inaction, ascending the steps up toward where the waiting defence committee were assembled was like retracing the path of a distant dream—or more likely, a nightmare. Alliance officers hurried past, some scrambling through the crowd as if the Reapers were already here.

 _They will be soon._ Brynn glanced out the wide windows at the city below, civilians milling about unaware of the looming danger. "You know we're not ready if it is them," Brynn said, turning back to Anderson, a few steps ahead of her. "Not by a long shot."

Anderson gave her a resigned look. "Tell that to the defence committee."

 _Right._ "Unless we're planning to _talk_ the Reapers to death, the committee is a waste of time," Brynn retorted. Behind her, she heard an amused noise from James.

"They're just scared," Anderson said. "None of them have seen what you've seen. You've faced down a Reaper. Hell, you spoke to one... then blew the damn thing up! You've seen how they harvest us, what they plan to do to us. You know more about this enemy than anyone."

They slowed to a stop in an open waiting area ringed with benches; Brynn turned to face Anderson, arms crossed. "That why they grounded me? Took away my ship?"

"You know that's not true. The shit you've done..." He raised his eyebrows at her in an amused look. "Any other soldier would've been tried, court-martialed and discharged. It's your knowledge of the Reapers that kept that from happening."

"That, and your good word?" Brynn said, shooting him a wry smile.

Anderson nodded. "Yeah. I trust you, Shepard. And so does the committee."

 _They've got a funny way of showing it,_ Brynn thought. But out loud, she just said: "I'm just a soldier, Anderson. I'm no politician."

"I don't need you to be either. I just need you to do whatever the hell it takes to help us stop the Reapers."

An alliance officer with a datapad approached them, and Anderson gave Brynn a knowing look. "They're expecting you two, Admiral," the woman said.

As Anderson began to follow her, James cleared his throat, and Brynn turned. "Good luck in there, Shepard," he said dryly.

"Thanks," Brynn said. _We're gonna need it._ They shook hands, exchanging a wry look as Brynn composed herself, preparing for what was undoubtedly going to be a long, frustrating meeting. But it had to be better than waiting behind closed doors, shut off from any news at all. At this point, she'd _welcome_ another argument with the council if it'd get her up to speed.

Then, she heard a voice behind her say Anderson's name, a voice she hadn't heard in a very long time.

"Shepard," Kaidan said, and she turned, heart suddenly pounding like _she'd_ been running down the halls. 

"Kaidan?" _Kaidan's here?_ His eyes pierced hers as she faced him, his expression unreadable. _Of course he's here._ _The Council didn't ground_ him.

"How'd it go in there, Major?" Anderson said, but Kaidan didn't look at him, his eyes still locked on Brynn's.

Anderson's words caught Brynn's attention, though—"Major?" she said, finally breaking eye contact to shoot Anderson a questioning look.

"You hadn't heard?" Anderson asked.

Brynn grimaced. "No. I'm a bit out of the loop these days." Something that, in any other circumstance, she might have blamed on her isolation. But even before then... she glanced up at Kaidan again to find him watching her, jaw set in a way that ached deep in her chest.

"My apologies," Anderson said, and Kaidan looked away. "I'll make sure you two get a chance to catch up. I asked the Major to come, thought you might want to see a familiar face."

A familiar face. She gave him a sweeping look, taking in the tight line of his mouth, jaw, the curve of his cheeks and nose, light hints of grey in his dark hair. It was familiar in more ways than were comfortable, his eyes meeting hers again under lowered brows. "Sorry, ma'am," he said, somewhat stiffly. "Didn't mean to keep you out of the loop."

Which was as true as it could technically be, without any contact between them since a few half-hearted emails that trailed off into radio silence. It was for the best, she'd thought, after their messy fight on Horizon, the simmering distrust that left a sour taste in her mouth. A silent, mutual agreement to keep their distance. 

But now, seeing him standing there, she was less sure. It was easy to let go of someone when they weren't standing right in front of you.

"That's okay," Brynn said carefully. "Just. Glad I bumped into you, Kaidan."

His expression flickered for a moment, an uncertain twist to his mouth. "Yeah, me too."

Then, another officer approached, and Kaidan looked away. "Admiral," the man said, "they're asking for you."

Anderson glanced at Brynn, gestured ahead. "Come on." 

Brynn gave one last look back at Kaidan, but he was already walking away.

* * *

The next time they saw each other, the Reapers had arrived in full force, and everything was going to shit—as usual. Which helped, in a way. There was little time for awkward conversation between gearing up and heading for Mars, no time even for James's protests as they left the Earth behind them. Before she knew it, they were stepping off the shuttle onto the barren landscape of Mars.

Well. Not _so_ barren. Solar panels and other equipment dotted the ground; farther ahead, a tower rose hundreds of metres in the air, the markings on its side already hard to read in the swirling dust.

"Damn," James whistled, staring up at the dark clouds in the distance. "That's a huge storm. Looks a lot bigger in person."

"Pretty average for Mars, actually," Kaidan said.

"I'm glad you're so optimistic," James said dryly, as Brynn moved ahead to scan the horizon, mapping out the rocky terrain with her eyes.

Kaidan's voice drifted back to her: "We've got Reapers invading Earth, the station here is offline... a little dust storm seems like the least of our worries."

_If there's anything Reapers are good for, it's putting things in perspective._

"Fair enough," James said.

They continued in silence, the area eerily empty of personnel. This, at least, was a conundrum quickly solved: Cerberus soldiers, not more than a few hundred yards from where they'd landed, systematically executing workers Brynn couldn't reach quickly enough to save. 

It did bring up new questions, however, questions that seemed to be on all of their minds as they stepped into the building, waiting as the automated doors slid shut around the bare industrial elevator.

"Shepard. I need a straight answer," Kaidan said, as the elevator began its slow descent.

Brynn glanced at him, frowning, but his face was barely visible through the helmet; bright artificial light bounced off the clear surface, obscuring what little she could see. "About what?"

"Do you know anything about why Cerberus is here?"

 _What?_ Brynn gave him an incredulous look, then realized he most likely could see as little of her as she could see of him. "What makes you think I know what they're up to?"

Kaidan turned away, arms crossed, and _that_ was a pretty clear message. "You worked for them, for god's sakes. How am I not supposed to think that?"

"We joined forces to take down the Collectors," Brynn said tersely. "That's it."

"There's more to it. They rebuilt you from the ground up. They gave you a ship, resources—"

 _For fuck's sake,_ Brynn thought, and she pulled off her helmet, strode forward to rest her arms on the metal railing, leaning directly into his line of sight. "Let me be clear," she said, "I've had no contact with Cerberus since I destroyed the Collector base. And I have no idea why they're here now, or what they want." _Is that good enough for you?_

James cleared his throat, and they both turned. "Commander Shepard's been under constant surveillance since coming back to Earth. No way they've communicated since."

Brynn shot a grateful look at James. _Thank you!_

Kaidan turned back to Brynn, pulling off his own helmet. "Sorry, Shepard," he said, giving her a quick glance, "I—it's just that—"

"You of all people should know what I'm about, Kaidan," Brynn said shortly, unable to keep the reproach out of her voice. _After all we went through... you know me._

_I thought I knew you._

The elevator ground to a halt, the doors ahead sliding open, and Brynn set off without looking back to see if they were following. A moment later, footsteps clanging on metal, she slowed, noting Kaidan's approach in her peripheral vision, James a few steps behind. There was a growing ache in her chest that she'd managed to forget about until now, the silence wrapping cold fingers around its centre. "Please," she blurted out, "just. Trust me."

"I do," Kaidan said, his tone almost surprised, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

There was a clanging from above them, footsteps echoing as if coming from inside some part of the ceiling. Brynn held up a closed fist, and they stopped, Brynn edging forwards to find the source of the noise. A moment later, there was a loud bang, and an asari dropped from the ceiling as more footsteps echoed. _Liara?_ Seconds later, Cerberus soldiers erupted from the ceiling only to find themselves caught in a biotic field, then shot down in two quick bursts by the figure ahead. _Definitely Liara._

Brynn lowered her gun, stepping out into the open; James followed, gun still cocked, and Brynn flung out an arm, stopping him cold. "Easy there, Lieutenant. She's with us."

"Shepard!" Liara straightened, smiling widely, "thank the goddess you're alive!"

"Good to see you too," Brynn said.

They caught up as they moved through the archives. As it turned out, Liara was not only there for the same reason they were, she _was_ the reason they were there: blueprints she'd discovered for a device that could destroy the Reapers. It was almost more than they'd hoped for, and while Brynn didn't want to get her hopes up, she was cautiously optimistic. It also helped just having Liara there with her; if anyone understood what they were up against, it was Liara.

Now if only they could find the plans before Cerberus did.

"Looks like they've made it to the Archives," Liara said. The images on the screens above them fizzled out as the Cerberus operative in the recording shot out the camera.

"And I doubt they'll send us a tram," Kaidan said.

"Can you override it?" Shepard asked; Liara was already tapping away at the console, lights flashing in response. A moment later, she shook her head.

"The archives are on a separate network. We're completely locked out."

Shepard stepped back, let her fist thud against the wall. _Dammit._ She glanced around in search of alternatives, another way around, _anything_ that would get them moving.

"Not if we find a short-ranged communicator," Kaidan said slowly. Brynn looked up to see him give her a thoughtful look. "Helmet to helmet."

She crossed her arms, trying to figure out where he was going with this. "...And?"

"And we convince them we're on their side, tell them the Alliance forces have been taken care of."

 _Huh. That... could work._ Brynn nodded. "Good idea. See what you can find."

She watched absently as he walked out into the open, Cerberus bodies strewn across the floor. _Damn. Why didn't I think of that?_ After a moment, she turned back to Liara, only to find Liara looking at her with a slight smile. "What?" Brynn said, frowning.

Liara turned back to the console, smile broadening. "The major has become very capable."

Brynn narrowed her eyes at Liara's back. "...Agreed," she said suspiciously. Liara didn't say anything else, so after a moment, Brynn followed Kaidan out across the platform, to where he crouched beside a Cerberus soldier. He didn't say anything as she approached, just tugged the helmet off the body.

He breathed in sharply. "My god," he murmured, and Brynn stepped around him, stared down at the body. "He looks like a husk." The corpse's eyes and face were faintly glowing, even in death; the skin was shrivelled and charred.

"Not quite," Brynn said—it was still human looking, which made it worse, somehow. "But he's definitely been... engineered, somehow."

"Engineered?" Kaidan straightened, gave her a discomfited look. "Cerberus did this? To their own people?" There was a moment of silence as he glanced back down at the disfigured form with a frown. Then, in a voice so quiet she almost missed it, he said: "Is this what they did to you?"

Brynn's head jerked up, and she stared at him, horror bubbling in her gut. "How can you compare me to that _thing_?" she blurted out, gesturing wildly at the body below. _That... mind-controlled experiment... oh god, you think _—__

"Shepard, I don't know what you are—or who—not since Cerberus rebuilt you." His words reached her brain slowly, like they were fighting through a thick fog. _Don't know_ what _I am?_ "For all I know, you could be their puppet, controlled by the Illusive Man himself."

"That's not fair, Kaidan," Brynn retorted, but her eyes strayed back to the mutated soldier. _You think I'm like that. You seriously think..._ She was starting to feel nauseous.

"Don't try to explain it," Kaidan was saying, and Brynn glanced up, trying to pull the world back into focus. "I don't think I'd understand anyway. I just want to know, is the person I followed to hell and back—the person I care about—" Brynn's stomach clenched unpleasantly—"are you still in there? Somewhere?"

"I'm right here, Kaidan," Brynn said, exhaustion pitching her voice higher than she intended. "They didn't change me." She gave him a resigned look. "But words won't convince you, will they?"

Kaidan glanced down, mouth a thin apologetic line. "Probably not."

 _Yeah._ They stood there, noises of shifting metal and distant wind emphasizing the silence. Brynn glanced at Kaidan, his clenched jaw, and she sighed, rubbed a hand across her forehead. She could feel the beginnings of a headache starting to pierce just behind her eyes. _Kaidan, Kaidan..._ "You always were stubborn," she muttered.

Kaidan made a strange choked noise, and Brynn stared at him; a moment later, she realized he was laughing. Her breath caught in her chest. "Me?" Kaidan said, eyes wrinkled in an incredulous smile.

Brynn's mouth tugged up involuntarily, and she gave a short huff of air, an almost-laugh. "Well." _Takes one to know one,_ she could almost hear him say. _God,_ she thought, _what happened to us?_

She took a deep breath and stepped back, gesturing at the helmet that dangled from Kaidan's hand. "Come on. Let's see what Cerberus is up to." She looked up at him, meeting his gaze evenly. "Maybe we'll both get some answers."

* * *

Everything moved quickly after that. The Illusive Man appearing to them in the archives, ranting about controlling the Reapers. A woman, escaping with the data. Shuttle crashing into the platform. Fire. Smoke. A humanoid robot, an _AI._

Kaidan, smashing into the side of the downed shuttle.

* * *

The trip to the Citadel passed in a blur. She vaguely remembered Liara saying something to her; a holocall; docking the Normandy. She blinked, and Dr. Chakwas was standing in front of her talking about the Alliance, and Cerberus; blinked again, and she was standing in a small, starkly lit room, in front of a medical bed.

_Kaidan._

Her legs weren't responding properly—she took a wobbly step forward, two, hands coming up to grip the side of the bed. "Kaidan," she murmured, unable to move, her eyes freezing on his pale, battered skin, splotches of ugly bruises in stark contrast. He barely looked _alive,_ lying so still; she fumbled for his pulse, only reassured once she could feel the steady beat of blood in his veins. _God, it's hard seeing you like this._

She turned his hand over in hers, clasped her fingers around his. "Don't know if you can hear me, but since you can't tell me to get the hell out either, I'm going to take my chances." She glanced up at his still face. Just to hear Kaidan's voice telling her to leave would be a mercy.

"Don't die, Kaidan." _This wasn't supposed to happen._ "You've got to fight." _That's what we're good at, right?_ "We need you in this." _I _—__

She swallowed, breathing deeply. Behind her, she heard a doctor enter the room, set something down on a table. She couldn't stop now, though. "Seeing you in action again... it reminded me you're a hell of a soldier," she said, jaw clenching. "The Alliance could sure use you." She hesitated, words catching in her throat. "I could use you."

She could feel tears pricking her parched eyes, and she pulled back, hand slipping from Kaidan's. She cleared her throat roughly. "You need anything, Doc, let me know," she said, with a nod at the man now checking a datapad. She almost left, then, the walls suddenly too small to hold her. As she reached the doorway, though, she paused, gave one last glance back at the prone form on the bed. "Come on, Kaidan, fight," she whispered. "That's an order."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> getting to the heart of the matter: hey guys can i date both of you kthanksbye

It was early evening when they returned from Palaven, filthy with ash and dirt from the planet's charred surface. It didn't take Brynn long to clean up, as used as she was to military accommodations; the closed off shower in her cabin was luxuriously large, really, but she didn't feel comfortable wasting more than a few seconds of water to enjoy it. 

Once she was out and dressed, all that was left was a few messages on her computer, and an empty cabin. It was a far cry from her first experience with the SR-2; here, she was surrounded by crew members loyal to _her,_ not Cerberus, and had she wanted the company of any other person, she could think of several close friends aboard that ship she'd ordinarily love to talk to.

But it was Garrus who'd boarded the Normandy that day just like he had two years ago; Garrus, who she hadn't seen in months; Garrus, who formed one half of a dilemma that had begun to grow in her heart the moment she'd seen Kaidan again in London. Before she knew it, she was climbing the steps toward the battery, feet carrying her before she'd made a conscious decision. She slowed as she approached the closed doors, a prickling of anxiety pulling her to a halt just short of where the doors normally registered her presence. 

Then, they opened anyway. "Thanks, EDI," Brynn muttered, taking a deep breath before stepping inside.

The room seemed empty at first glance, the holoscreen a few feet ahead blinking idly. As she slowed, however, she heard quiet conversation: the fuzz of a communicator, then the low rumble of Garrus's voice. "Well, you can trust Shepard, sir. If anybody can get the krogan to cooperate, it's her." Brynn's mouth tugged up in a nervous smile—god, even after everything that had happened, here Garrus was, praising her abilities like there had never been any doubt. "She's an old friend of Urdnot Wrex." A fuzzy reply. "I'm sure it will, sir." Then, the noise was gone, and there was just the humming of the ship.

Brynn walked toward where she'd heard the noise, heart speeding up with each step. There was a light thunk, and she looked down as she rounded the corner to see Garrus sitting back on his feet, head tipped up toward her. "Shepard," he said with a smile. "Thought I heard the door open."

"Hey," Brynn said. She glanced at the open panel in front of him, the omnitool flickering over his arm. "You didn't waste any time getting to work."

Garrus tipped his head in acknowledgement. "After what I've been through, calibrating a giant gun is a vacation. Gives me something to focus on." 

Brynn's heart twinged in sympathy. Seeing your home planet occupied by Reapers was bad; having to walk away while they destroyed it was a million times worse. It was one of the last things she'd ever hoped they'd have in common—but the way things were going, the same would soon be true for many others. "Have you heard from your family?" she asked.

Garrus stood up, the bright orange light of his omnitool fading as he faced her. "Not yet."

"I'm sure they're okay," Brynn said, giving him her best reassuring smile. _Please be okay._

Garrus's replying look was dubious. "I appreciate the thought, Shepard, but please, spare me the platitudes. We can be honest with each other, here."

"Okay," Brynn said quietly.

Garrus reached over and shut a panel behind him absently, leaning back against the metal structure. "What about you? Any word from your mom?"

Brynn shook her head. "Haven't heard from her since Earth got hit."

Garrus glanced at her, mouth opening, then closing a moment later. "I'm... sure she's okay," he finally said.

"Yeah." 

The ship's humming was louder for the silence, echoing in the small room. Garrus cleared his throat, shifted to stand upright. "I, uh. Heard about Kaidan," he said. "I'm sorry."

Brynn nodded, though her gut knotted with renewed worry. "Thanks."

"Are you two... good?" Garrus asked hesitantly. "After Horizon..."

"Maybe... As much as we can be, I think," Brynn said with a helpless shrug. "He's still a bit wary after the whole being brought back to life by Cerberus thing. Can't say I blame him—there's no guarantee these cybernetic implants they left me with are safe."

Garrus gave her a sympathetic look. "That's hardly your fault." He reached out an arm as if to touch hers, but seemed to think better of it, drawing back at the last second.

"And, uh," Garrus cleared his throat, "god, I don't know how to say this, but, are _we_ , good? I mean, I know you and Kaidan were a thing," he said hurriedly, "and I don't want to be the guy caught in-between if you'd rather go back to, well, the way things were. Unless you _do_ still want this, I don't know, I'm trying not to assume anything here, but..." He trailed off, glancing up at Brynn with an anxious look that said _throw me a line here, you're usually interrupting me by now._

It hurt how off-kilter they'd gotten since they'd been apart.

She swallowed. "Garrus, I... I really, _really_ want to say, absolutely, of course, I'm all in... I've missed you, so much—feels like I'm dreaming, walking in here, seeing you working on your damn _calibrations—_ " Garrus gave a surprised laugh, and Brynn's stomach twisted at the sound. "But as much as I care about you, I care about Kaidan too. I just—" she clenched her fists against her sides. "Honest to god, I can't see myself living without either of you." She shrugged helplessly. "What do I do with that?"

Garrus's expression was unreadable. "I don't know."

"Yeah," Shepard sighed, leaned back against the wall. "Me neither."

They were quiet for a moment; Garrus tipped his head slightly, watching her, considering. "Listen. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't given this a lot of thought—I've, uh, had plenty of time for it," he said, with a self-deprecating laugh that sent a pang of guilt through her, irrational though it was. "I can't speak for Kaidan, but... I'd be willing to, uh, see where this goes?"

Brynn tipped her head up, blinking as she processed those last words. "Oh?" she said, brain grasping fruitlessly for additional words.

"I mean, humans date more than one person, sometimes, right?" Garrus said, "that's a thing that happens? Unless the extranet was wrong—"

"They do," Shepard gently cut him off, mouth widening in an involuntary smile.

"Good," Garrus said, his answering smile tinged with relief, "that's, good."

"I don't know what Kaidan would say, though," Brynn said cautiously. _I don't know if the_ two _of us can make it work, let alone_ _three._ "Even if he agrees, it'll take a hell of a lot more work than most relationships."

"Because I haven't put _any_ effort into this so far," Garrus said dryly. Brynn gave him sideways look, momentarily caught off guard. "What? I've probably watched most of the turian-human relationship vids out there for you, and some of them were _really_ bad, like home vid shot in someone's basement, bad. The Illusive man probably has better security footage than some of those vids."

"Are—are you going somewhere with this?" Brynn asked, half exasperated, half amused.

"Well, if we made our _own_ vids—" Brynn made a face at him. "I'm joking," he said quickly. "Though it'd be an awful shame to waste all that raw footage..."

"I don't think he was watching our _rooms,"_ Brynn said, rolling her eyes. She paused. "Oh, god, was he?"

"Nah," Garrus said dismissively, though he followed this with an uncertain look. "...I think."

Brynn stared at Garrus for a moment. Then, her shoulders began to shake with laughter, echoed moments later by Garrus. " _Honestly,"_ Shepard finally managed, wiping at her eyes.

Garrus made a pleased humming noise, and Brynn glanced up to find him grinning back at her. It was like deja-vu. A dream she had yet to wake up from. "I really did miss you," she murmured.

Garrus's gaze softened. "So did I."

In that moment, she wanted nothing more than to kiss him.

 _But then..._ She swallowed, looked away. "We should hold off on... this. Us. Until I've talked to Kaidan. Worked things out."

There was a flash of hurt in Garrus's eyes. A moment later, he sighed, gave her a resigned nod. "Yeah... I guess that makes sense." Then, he tipped his head, mouth coming up in a self-deprecating grin. "Doesn't mean I have to like it, though," he said dryly.

"Me neither," Brynn admitted. "But it doesn't feel right. I didn't leave things with Kaidan the way I thought I did, and I need to fix that first. Okay?"

Garrus hesitated. "I can still, uh, _talk_ to you, right?"

"God, Garrus," Brynn said, dismayed, "of course. Don't you dare stop talking to me." He gave a bark of laughter at that, and she relaxed a little at the sound.

"Then I think I can manage," he said, smiling.

"Good," Brynn said. _How did I even get this far without you here to talk to me?_ She shook her head fondly. "On that note, I should probably. Get going."

"Right." Garrus cleared his throat. "Ship to run, and all that."

"Yeah." Brynn glanced up, and Garrus's eyes narrowed slightly before he suddenly straightened, arm raising in an exaggerated salute.

"Commander."

Brynn snorted. " _Vakarian_ ," she said, mimicing his gesture and intonation. As she turned to leave, she punched him lightly in the shoulder. "Dork," she muttered.

* * *

_Hey Shepard,_

_Through some combination of medical miracle and dumb luck, it looks like I'll survive what happened on Mars. The doctors say I'm still not ready to be released, but I've gotten the green light for visitors. I know it's been rough between us, but... I'd really like to see you. I need to make things right again._

_Kaidan_

* * *

She bought a bottle of whiskey on the way to the hospital. _TM88 Peruvian Whiskey,_ the label read. _Each sip of TM88 has a story to tell, and each glass has a story to inspire._ A tall order for a bottle of whiskey. _How about it,_ she told the bottle, _you feel like working a miracle?_

The bottle, obviously, had nothing to say to that. Figuring things out with Kaidan was going to take a lot of work; miracles had nothing to do with it.

As she approached Kaidan's hospital room, voices caught her ear, and she slowed, eyeing the open doors uncertainly.

"The galaxy has need of exceptional soldiers like you—now, more than ever." Udina's voice. She wondered briefly if she had time to find somewhere to hide until he was gone.

"You'll have it soon, Councilor. I promise."

"I look forward to it."

Then, there were footsteps, and Councilor Udina stepped out of the room. His eyes fell on Shepard, and he gave her a cool nod as he passed. "Shepard."

"Councilor," she said with a wary look. He left quickly, and Brynn turned back toward the doorway, wondering what _Udina_ wanted with Kaidan. Trying to get him returned early to duty, maybe. Still, no way of knowing from out here.

When she walked inside, Kaidan watched her enter with an air of expectation that told her he'd heard her brief exchange with Udina. "Hey," Brynn said.

"Shepard, hey," he said, shifting a little to better face her, eyes clear—the relief at just hearing him say her name was probably more than was warranted, but there he was, fidgeting with the sheets on his hospital bed like he was already eager to be out of there. "You just missed snack time—actually, that's probably a good thing," he said, and Brynn bit back a smile. "Thanks for coming."

"No problem." There was a chair by the bed, and Brynn sat down beside him, setting the whiskey at her feet before folding her hands in her lap. "What did Udina want?" she asked.

"He's offered to make me a Spectre," Kaidan said.

 _Oh, wow._ Brynn stared at him, mouth open in a stunned half-grin. "And? You're taking it, right?"

"It's a big honour..." Kaidan said, his words measured, as always— _come on, Kaidan, this is_ big, _show a little enthusiasm—"_ a huge responsability. Just need to be sure."

Something else occurred to her: That would make her and Kaidan the first and currently _only_ two human Spectres. And if things didn't work out... She gave him an awkward nod, then glanced down. _Better not think about that._ A second passed, then two. She stared down at her feet—"Oh!" She lunged down for the whiskey at her feet, _thank god, something else to say—_ "I got you this," she said, thrusting the bottle into his hands.

"Wow, thanks, Shepard," Kaidan said, leisurely turning over the bottle in his hand as if she hadn't just practically thrown it at him. "That's really great."

"Just a little pick-me-up," Brynn added, voice artificially bright.

Kaidan set the bottle down on the bed beside him. "Maybe when I'm out, we can crack it open and celebrate."

"Sure," Brynn agreed.

Kaidan shifted again, tugging at the edge of the sheet. "I'm so ready to get out of here, Shepard. You can't tell, but I'm tied to this bed by medical red tape," he said, smiling, and Shepard gave a low laugh despite herself. "I mean, Doc says I'm good to go," he added, "but then she always finds 'just one more test' to run."

"Leaving you shackled to your bed," Brynn said dryly, and Kaidan's eyes crinkled in amusement. After a moment, though, his eyes drifted to the window, expression falling flat. Brynn shifted forward in her seat, awkwardness forgotten as her mouth pursed in concern. "You doing okay?"

He made a small shrugging motion. "My implant got a little... rattled, so Doc just wants me to keep the biotics offline for a bit. It's really no big deal."

"Need me to break you out?" Brynn asked, the lightness of her voice offset by the look she gave Kaidan—one that he met with a cautious expression that told her he knew exactly how far she'd go to get him out, regardless of the way things stood between them. _I know how it feels to be trapped._

"I'll let you know."

She nodded, leaning back against her chair. "I'm glad you're going to be okay." _And..._ She hesitated, wondering if the words hovering on the edge of her tongue were too much. Too personal, too soon. Too late.

She said them anyway. "I care about what happens to you."

Kaidan blinked, mouth slightly open, unguarded, for just a moment. "Me too," he said. "That... means a lot, Shepard."

Brynn looked away, ears hot, already regretting the intensity of her words. Outside, shuttles roared past, the sound faint through the clear windows. Not _completely_ regretting them. It was more of an all-pervasive regret, of existing in this situation in the first place, of feeling emotions instead of funnelling them down the barrel of her gun. _Pull yourself together,_ she told herself. _You can do this._

"So, I just want to make sure," Kaidan said hesitantly, "after Mars, after Horizon. You and me, we're good?"

And there was the question. Brynn spoke slowly, searching for the right words. "Our... fight, on Horizon, really threw me. You just shut me down."

Kaidan sighed. "Yeah, I... I'll own that. I mean, seeing you alive sent me spinning," he ran a hand up the side of his face with a grimace, "and, uh, I handled it badly." He glanced up, met her gaze head on. "I'm sorry, Shepard."

"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you sooner," Brynn said. "It can't have been easy, hearing that I died."

"That's an understatement." He looked down at his hands, mouth tight as if holding back something more.

Brynn watched him a moment, then leaned forward, elbows on her knees. "Is there something else?"

Kaidan's eyes flicked up to hers. "Yeah, maybe..." He tipped his head as he looked at her, measuring. "Was there something between you and Garrus?"

 _Ah. Here we go._ Brynn swallowed, her heart-rate sky-rocketing. "Yeah," she said, steeling herself, "we—" _Wait, was?_ Her brain fumbled to a stop. "When exactly are you talking about?"

Kaidan gave her a strange look. "Horizon?"

"Horiz—"

_"You turned your back on everything we believed in. You betrayed the Alliance. You betrayed me._

_"You've changed. But I still know where my loyalties lie._

_"I've got to report back to the Citadel. They can decide if they believe your story or not."_

_Kaidan walking away. Empty. Cold. A hand on her shoulder—"Uh, Shepard? Shepard, hey." Garrus's worried face looming into view. "You okay? We shouldn't stay here." Kaidan in the distance, a backwards glance—_

"He was being _nice,"_ Brynn exclaimed, face wrinkled in disbelief. "We weren't even _close_ to dating yet, that's—" _Absurd, paranoid..._ _Not helping._ She forced herself to stop, took a deep breath.

"But you did later." Brynn didn't reply, and he frowned, staring at her. "You're seeing him now, aren't you?"

Brynn sighed. "Not exactly. We're... on hold. Until I figure things out with you."

"Figure things out," Kaidan said, his tone flat.

"I still care about you, Kaidan," Brynn said, "and I've missed you, so much, god, I can't believe I almost lost you, after everything that happened..." She bit the inside of her cheek, her own thoughts whirring faster than she could follow; Kaidan's expression was unreadable, but he didn't say anything, which Brynn took as her cue to keep going. "I'm sorry I never tried to talk to you about this, but after Horizon, I honestly thought that was _it,_ that we were over. You'd made it pretty clear what you thought of me."

Kaidan's face tightened, a flash of pain clear on his face. She'd imagined this conversation many times, imagined confronting him with facts, all her reasoning behind joining forces with Cerberus; make him see how wrong he was. Now that he was lying in front of her, though, it all felt so petty. Nothing he'd done was out of spite—how was he supposed to understand what had been going through her head based on rumours alone? All she wanted now was to put it behind them.

"So, yeah, I started dating Garrus," Brynn said gently. "And then I saw you again on Earth. And I realized..." She swallowed, pulled her arms closer to her body. "The thing is, you're both _so, so_ important to me," she said, lifting her chin to look him steadily in the eye. "I know it's probably not what you expected to come back to; I wasn't expecting it either. But here we are, here _you_ are, and I just—" She clenched her hands together, wrestling with the words. "Maybe things won't be quite the same between us, anymore, but maybe they can be something new?" She gave an awkward half-shrug, face scrunching in an expression more nervous grimace than smile. "With you and me, and me and him?"

Kaidan's eyes narrowed slightly, gaze downcast. Brynn waited, waited for him to tell her she was deluded, that she was asking too much, more than any person could be expected to give. Horizon replayed in her mind, over and over, looping the worst parts her brain could piece together. Moments passed, agonizingly slow.

He still didn't say anything.

Finally, Brynn couldn't take the silence. "Please say _something." 'No' would be better than... this._

"Sorry," Kaidan said, eyes flickering up to meet hers, and Brynn's chest tightened at the word, _sorry, I can't; sorry, that would never work—_ "it's just, a lot to take in."

That... was far from a no. "You don't have to answer right away," Brynn said immediately, "it can wait. As long as you need."

Kaidan, to her relief, nodded slowly. "Alright."

When he didn't say anything else, Brynn stood up, not wanting to push her luck; her chair squeaked back on the polished floor. "I'll let you rest," she said, gesturing vaguely around the small room. She hesitated, then added: "It was good to see you."

"Yeah," Kaidan said quietly.

She turned to go, ready for the relative quiet of the Normandy. As the automatic doors slid open, however, Kaidan spoke again.

"Hey, Brynn?"

She turned slowly.

"I'm—I'm not sure that I've been wrong about Cerberus," he said, head tipped slightly, "but... I've been wrong about you."

She hesitated for a moment, then gave him a small nod. _Thank you._

It was a start.

* * *

Later that evening Brynn was walking down the hall toward the elevator when she heard voices coming from the open door of the port observation deck. One she didn't recognize, but the other, deeper voice had her quietly approaching the open doorway.

"Wasn't the first time I've faced rachni."

"Really? You've seen them before?"

"Few years back. On Noveria." Brynn slowed as she reached the doorway, Garrus coming into view. He didn't seem to notice her approach, leaned back against the couch as he spoke to what Brynn assumed was one of the younger ensigns she hadn't often encountered. "Saren and his minions were trying to extract information from the rachni queen."

"You saw the queen?"

"Hell, we spoke to her."

"You spoke?" the other man exclaimed. "I can't imagine that. The things you've done, sir... they're amazing." His voice was low with wonder, and Brynn's mouth tugged up into an almost involuntary smile. _Look at you, Garrus, you've got fans._

"Well, it didn't seem that way at the time." He glanced up, eyes meeting hers, and her heart skipped a beat—clearly she wasn't as stealthy as she'd thought. "Mostly," he said, smiling at her, "you're just clawing your way out of one mess and into another, hoping your ass comes along for the ride." Brynn gave a surprised laugh, then clapped a hand over her mouth at the noise. Garrus's smile widened— _well aren't you pleased with yourself_. "Busted," he said, and Brynn shook her head at him before stepping into the room.

Across from Garrus, the officer (Cousland? Copeland?) was twisted around in his chair to look for the source of the noise. As she entered the room, he sprang to his feet. "Commander Shepard!" He snapped off a salute.

"At ease, ensign," Brynn said, waving a hand at him. "Don't worry, I won't take up much of your time."

"Yes, we'd hate to have to talk to you for any length of time," Garrus said dryly.

Brynn shot him a narrow look, all the while struggling to bite back a smile. "I'm... just checking to make sure you're good to roll out tomorrow morning."

"I'm good," Garrus said. "Just, no rachni this time, alright? If I never see another spider again, I'll die a contented turian."

"Uh huh," Brynn said, eyebrows raised.

"Unless they have spiders in the afterlife..." Garrus said, and Brynn laughed. "Damn. Most people have never seen a rachni. The Normandy? We're a regular safari tour!"

"Hey, you signed up for this," Brynn said, crossing her arms, "on three separate occasions, might I add."

"And somehow I find myself regretting all of them," he said—though his words were somewhat counteracted by his quiet smile.

"Do you?" Brynn asked, only half-joking.

Garrus glanced down with a huff of almost laughter. His eyes flickered back up, and Brynn's heart stuttered. "No," he said.

 _How do you still do this to me?_ she thought, dazed. After another moment, she caught herself, gave her thoughts a shake. _Less gawking, more walking._ She took a step back toward the door. "Anyway," she said, "I should get back to my... rounds. I'll, uh, see you later. Tomorrow."

"Okay," Garrus said, mouth open in a knowing grin. "Night, Shepard."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some conversations need to be had.

The attack on the Citadel was unwelcome in more ways than one. The entire place took on an eery quality, a wrongness, its normally pristine surfaces crumbling and charred. It was like coming home to find someone had broken in, leaving devastation in the one place that should have been safe. Earth was her home planet, but with all the time she'd spent on ships instead of land, the Citadel had always felt a stable rock in the shifting depths of space.

As to the other unwelcome aspect of the thing, well. She never thought she'd find herself in the sights of a _crew member,_ let alone...

As Brynn walked down towards where the Normandy was docked, a figure stepped away from the wall. "Kaidan," she said, stopping mid-step, "hey, I wondered where you went. What's up?" she said, her tone forcedly bright.

Kaidan gave her a measured look, brows low. "I'm just trying to wrap my head around what just happened."

"You sound angry," Shepard said carefully.

"I'm—" Kaidan followed her gaze down to his crossed arms. He made a face, let his arms fall to his sides. "Not angry, just, not everyday you have an armed standoff with someone you—" he hesitated visibly, "—care about. How it all went down, it's got me..." he turned restlessly toward the window. "I don't know."

Brynn sighed. "Okay, talk to me. Let's have it."

Kaidan paced back into the middle of the hallway, jaw set. "If I hadn't backed down first, I feel like you would have taken me out."

"No," Brynn said firmly, _god, no._ "I trusted you, Kaidan. I knew you'd come around."

"And if I hadn't?" Kaidan was shaking his head now, "you were pointing a gun at a councillor, Shepard. What if I hadn't?"

 _Udina might have gotten away._ "You did, and that's what matters," Brynn said with a slight frown. "That's in the past now."

"Yeah, but sometimes the way a thing goes down does matter. Later, when you have to live with yourself." He looked out at the Citadel skyline, face tight with discomfort. "Knowing that you acted with integrity—then it matters."

 _Oh._ "You're talking about Udina," Brynn said, staring at him with sudden clarity. "You think he would have come in quietly? Kaidan, he gave you no choice. You had to take the shot." He didn't say anything, and she stepped closer to stand by his side at the window. "You acted with integrity," she added quietly. "I saw the whole thing."

Kaidan gave her a sidelong glance. "Alright. Thanks."

They were quiet a moment, staring past the docked Normandy at the buildings beyond, the movement of vehicles still visible even in the aftermath of the attack—relief teams, C-sec, civilians struggling through the ruins of their homes. Smoke billowing across charred metal.

"Look, Shepard," Kaidan finally said, "theres, uh—there's another reason I'm here." He turned back to her, eyes darting up then away, then back to meet hers. "Hackett offered me a position, but... I'd turn it down in a second if there was a chance to join you on the Normandy again."

Brynn blinked, mouth tugging up into an involuntary grin. For all that had happened, she realized, her gut reaction was the same: _yes, of course, yes._ "Couldn't imagine meeting the Reapers without you," she said. And that was the simple truth of it: Even if they just stayed like this—comrades, soldiers, and hopefully, as things grew less awkward, friends—she couldn't see herself facing the Reapers without Kaidan fighting beside her.

Kaidan's eyes creased with a half-smile. "Thank you, Commander," he said. There was a moment of hesitation, then they both held out their hands at the same time. Kaidan gave a quiet huff of a laugh as they shook on it. "I need you to know that I'll never doubt you again," he said. "I've got your back."

"Good to know," Brynn said, giving him an almost comically formal nod in an attempt to ease her nerves. And maybe his, at that. "Welcome aboard, Major."

Kaidan raised his hand in a salute. "Aye, aye, ma'am," he said with a faint smile; for a moment they were standing on the SR-1 again, two Alliance officers in simpler times. Easier times.

"Shall we?" Brynn said, gesturing ahead. "You have an entire ship to refamiliarize yourself with."

"Why, has it changed that much?" Kaidan asked. "Joker can't be pleased."

"He's managing," Brynn said, as the doors opened. "We all are."

* * *

Days passed; for all the progress they'd made, nothing really seemed to change. Fighting, both on the battlefield and behind closed doors. Constant steps forward and back, moving pieces in an enormous galaxy like they were holographic projections on Sam's chess board. And a sea of red spreading across the War Room's holo-map—Reapers, picking off planets one by one no matter what they did.

Brynn stood above the holotable, arms braced on the edge as she stared unblinkingly, red light filling her vision until it danced across her eyes even when she looked away.

"Shepard?" There were footsteps behind her; a tall figure stepped into her peripheral vision, wide carapace blocking her view of the opposite door. _Garrus._ "After the night you had, I didn't think you'd still be up."

"I can't stop thinking about Thane," Brynn said.

"Ah." He shifted slightly, back and forth on the balls of his feet, like the talks they used to have in the Battery. Before so many things changed. "Thane dying... it can't have been easy."

"I can't lose anyone else, Garrus," she said, almost before he'd finished. "I can't."

Garrus let out a quiet sigh. "I'd love to be able to say you won't, but..." He lapsed into silence.

"I know," Brynn said. That was the worst part: Watching it happen over and over again. Ashley, Mordin, Thane, every crew member she lost to the Collectors, to Cerberus, every damn inch the Reapers took of her home, her galaxy. It all just kept piling up, every corpse and ruined planet and atrocity filling her head until it threatened to spill over. 

"Listen," Garrus said, pulling her back to the present, "you're not going to help anyone by staying awake for 2 days straight. You should get some sleep."

Brynn's chest tightened as Thane's voice echoed in her head: _I have time. Catch him_ _._ "I'll sleep when I'm dead," she retorted. She turned abruptly back to the holotable without looking at him, but she still saw his hand tighten on the table out of the corner of her eye.

"We both know you need a clear head to win a war," he said quietly. "There's no room for mistakes here. You need to rest." Appealing to her sense of duty— _that's low, Garrus,_ she thought, irritation pricking at her, despite the small rational voice in the back of her head pointing out that she had said much the same thing to Steve not weeks prior. "Besides," he added, voice light, "I know where you sleep. We'll wake you if anything comes up."

Brynn was silent a moment longer, then she sighed, and straightened—he was right, _damn him_ , of course he was. "You'd better," she mumbled, the threat softened by the yawn she attempted to stifle not a moment later.

"Of course," Garrus said, eyes soft in a way she didn't feel equipped to handle at that moment.

She turned abruptly, stalking up the stairs as the door to the War Room slid open, and Kaidan appeared; he barely had time to step aside as Brynn strode blindly past without stopping. Kaidan stared after for a moment, then glanced back at Garrus with a confused look. "Uh. What was that?" he said, stepping down into the room.

"I don't think she's been sleeping," Garrus said.

"Ah. She's not the only one," Kaidan said, rubbing a hand over his face.

Garrus gave a soft huff. "Yeah." There was a moment of awkward silence, both hovering on the edge of words. "How's your family doing in, uh, all this?" Garrus attempted.

"Well, my mom's okay. My dad... he's MIA."

A brief pause. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Yours?"

"Still no word."

"That's rough."

"Yeah."

They both fell silent. Garrus fiddled with the datapad in his hand, staring at its darkened screen. He glanced up at Kaidan, noting the dark circles under his eyes. This fight hadn't been easy on any of them. "What brings you down here, anyway," Garrus asked, "did you, uh, need something, or?"

Kaidan shook his head. "Just waiting on a holocall from Admiral Hackett. It'll probably be another fifteen minutes at least, I just didn't want to miss him." He glanced at Garrus. "You?"

"Gotta hand this off to Primarch Victus when he gets back," Garrus said, holding the datapad up.

"Is that all that's keeping you here?" Kaidan asked. "I can give it to him for you, if you like, I'll be here a while yet."

Garrus blinked, more than a little surprised. "Are you sure? Turians can talk for a _while_ when we're talking strategy," he said dryly, "they could end up taking longer than your call."

Kaidan shrugged. "It's hang about here, or hang about somewhere else. Honestly, I don't mind."

"Well... alright," Garrus said, giving him a cautious nod. "Thanks, Kaidan."

"No problem."

* * *

After Legion's... death? Disappearance? Absorbance into the collective geth consciousness— _god,_ not having a solid word for it made it all the harder—Brynn found herself pacing down toward the observation deck, desperate for company but unwilling to face Garrus again, so soon after Thane.

The elevator stopped, and she stepped out automatically, her brain caught in a fog of memory. Legion's body collapsing into the dirt. Geth everywhere given new consciousness, at the cost of one. One most would never remember.

She kept walking down the long hall, slowing as she reached the doorway. Inside, the observation deck was empty, a book on the small table in the corner serving as the only sign that Kaidan had ever been there. _Of course he's not here._ She walked inside and sat on the cold metal floor, back braced against the couch, staring out into the cold blackness of space. Pinpricks of light scattered across her vision: every star, planet, satellite; orbital stations and close-flying ships. Beacons in the darkness.

She set her chin on her arm, imagining geth scattered across all those little specks of light, meeting their new allies for the first time. _I'm glad you got the chance to help your people, Legion,_ she thought, eyelids drooping over the distant glow. _I hope it was worth it._

She woke up hours later, disoriented, an unfamiliar blanket draped over her. She sat up, and found she was now lying on the couch. A faint light illuminated the room, and she glanced around for its source.

At the other end of the room, a small lamp sat on an end table; beside it, Kaidan, slumped in the armchair, dozing over a half-open book. "Kaidan..." Brynn murmured, a smile tugging at her face. _Aren't we both a mess._ She stood up, picking up the blanket.

It occurred to her that Kaidan must have lifted her onto the couch as she slept. (Her chest gave a little swoop.)

She walked over to Kaidan, gently pulled the book out of his hands and laid it on the table; he grumbled something inaudible, frowning in his sleep. "Oh, shush, you," Brynn murmured, tucking the blanket around him. As she stood back, his face relaxed, expression taking on the most untroubled look she'd seen, well, in years. _What I'd give to see you_ happy _again...._ Brynn thought with a sigh, rubbing her face with one hand. "We need to talk about this," she informed him. "Preferably when you're awake."

After a moment, she turned and left, walking back down the hall towards the elevator. She could probably use some sleep in an actual bed. 

* * *

Maybe a week later, Brynn had just stopped by the crew quarters to check in on some of the crew when she saw Kaidan sitting at a computer. There hadn't been much time to talk over the past week; the more time passed, the quicker the Reapers seemed to be moving, sending attack after attack, decimating worlds and hampering any progress they seemed to make. 

Or, that was the excuse Brynn was sticking with. It was hard to lay out her thoughts, take stock of everything, and every time she saw Kaidan, what little progress she'd made fell like coins into a gutter of small talk and quick excuses. But now he was watching her as she entered, sitting up a little straighter in his seat like there was something on his mind. "Hey, Shepard," he said. "You got a minute?"

Brynn shrugged as nonchalantly as she could, came over and sat down. "Sure. What's up?"

"I've just been, uh, sitting here, thinking..."

"Uh oh," Brynn joked, flashing him a grin to make sure he knew she was teasing. Kaidan's mouth twitched, and he shook his head at her. "Okay," she said, "hit me with it."

"So, those Cerberus scientists." Kaidan leaned forward, arms crossing on the table. "They were good people."

"What do you mean?"

"Dr. Cole and her team," Kaidan backtracked, waving a hand at her, "they... they seemed like good people." 

_Right. Jacob's people. More Cerberus._ Brynn nodded slowly, bracing herself. "Okay..."

"Knowing that, what do we do? I mean, what if there are more like them trapped inside Cerberus, struggling to get out?"

That... was not where Brynn was expecting Kaidan to go with this. _Is he... concerned? For people working for Cerberus?_ She tipped her head, considering him, his surprisingly earnest look. "Tell me what you think we should do."

"I don't know, Shepard," Kaidan said, unfolding his arms, gaze dropping to the table. Not avoiding her, just. Thinking. "These are the hard calls. I mean, the decision to 'sacrifice the one for the many'? The choice to leave someone behind? 'Til you're in that moment, I..." He looked up at her with a helpless shrug. "So, yeah, you know... I don't know."

Brynn stared at him, awareness spilling across her brain in slow sweeps. He wanted to try and help them—Cerberus operatives, people he'd unequivocally called the enemy—to save them, help them get out. And as stunned as she was in the moment, the more she thought about it, the more it slotted perfectly into the image of the Kaidan she knew—systematic, thorough Kaidan, doggedly loyal to the Alliance and those it was supposed to protect. 

_I was wrong about you too,_ she thought. Kaidan might have gone about the fight against the Collectors differently, might have trouble understanding how Brynn could justify joining forces with Cerberus, no matter how dire the circumstances. His stubbornly opposing stance might have been frustrating at the time, but she was wrong in assuming he hadn't been thinking clearly. He'd just chosen the only option that he felt he could morally take. 

_Sometimes the way a thing goes down_ does _matter._

So now, faced with the information that there were people who needed their help, trapped in the hideous pit of racism, terrorism, and violence that Cerberus had become, _of course_ he wanted to help. All things considered, it was their _duty_ to do what they could. She leaned forward onto the table, arms crossed. "Anyone that comes forward—" she said, "like these people—we help, no matter what." She paused, then shrugged helplessly. "That's the best we can do."

Kaidan gave her jerky nod. "I know." 

"Sometimes the best we can do won't feel like enough—" _Hell, I don't know if it ever feels like enough_ "—but it's all we've got." She stopped on the last word, suddenly feeling as if she was giving speeches from a podium instead of talking _to_ him. _Spare me the platitudes,_ Garrus's voice echoed.

Kaidan seemed to understand what she meant, though. "Yeah," he sighed.

Behind them, the door opened; Brynn glanced up as another crew member stepped inside long enough to pull open a drawer by one of the beds and deposit a datapad inside. A moment later, they were gone, the automatic doors sliding shut behind them, and Brynn and Kaidan were alone again.

"So, the scientists that put you back together," Kaidan said, "—that saved your life—-they were good people."

 _Well. Maybe?_ "They were professionals," Brynn said, weighing her words, "I didn't know them all." They could have done any number of terrible things. They might have supported them. But then, they might not have. It just wasn't as black and white as they'd been lead to assume.

"And the Illusive Man?"

"Was he a good person?" Brynn filled in.

Kaidan gave her an uncomfortable look. "Once? _Ever?"_

That _was_ the leading question, wasn't it. "Well, he gave me what I needed to stop the Collectors..." Brynn said. _That has to count for something, right?_

"Right. Exactly." Kaidan nodded. "But you never saw this coming from them? From him?" Brynn shrugged helplessly, and he gave a low laugh. "Sorry. I'm not sure what I want you to say here. I guess I'm looking for some sort of insight on the Illusive Man... something."

 _How does a man who means well end up committing such horrible atrocities?_ _How did he get there? How do we make sure we never,_ ever _do the same?_ Brynn sighed. "Back when he started, I think he really did want the best for humanity. But then it became humanity first, and at any cost. And that... that's a very different thing," she said grimly. They'd seen enough _years_ ago to make it clear just how far the Illusive Man was willing to go. Or, she thought they had. "But this? Experimenting on his own people? Trying to _control_ the Reapers? No, I never saw this coming from him."

Kaidan made only a humming noise in reply. None of this was anything he didn't already know, after all. That was the crux of the problem: despite her time working with them, Brynn hadn't really learned anything helpful about the man. Nothing concrete. "Well, thanks, Shepard," Kaidan said, giving her a slow smile. "I'm glad we could talk about this."

"So am I," Brynn said, and found that she meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "you were pointing a gun at a councillor, Shepard. What if I hadn't [backed down]?"  
> ".......id have shot you in the leg? why is it always life or death around here" 
> 
> one chapter left!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> only one thing left to do.......

_Hey Shepard,_

_Since we'll be stopping by the Citadel after this mission, do you want to grab a bite to eat while we're there? I've been hearing good things about Apollo's—that little restaurant overlooking the Presidium—and I figured it might be a good place for us to talk._

_Kaidan_

* * *

"Liara, you need to help me."

Liara looked away from her immense array of screens, her face enveloped in flashing light from the moving images. "What do you need?" she asked, fixing Brynn with a serious look. "Is it the Illusive Man? Has new intel come up regarding the Reapers?"

"Uh... no." Brynn slowed to a stop as the doors slid shut behind her, suddenly feeling like her question was more than a little insignificant. "I need you to help me decide what to wear on my date with Kaidan. Well. My lunch with Kaidan that could be a date... Or, you know, could be his way of letting me down as gently as possible, oh god, he's going to break up with me isn't he," Brynn groaned, squishing her face between her hands, "we're not even technically _dating_ and he's going to break up with me!" 

"I'm sure he's not going to break up with you," Liara said in what was probably meant to be a reassuring tone. It didn't help that she went back to typing on her computer a moment later. "If it's _clothing_ advice you need, why don't you ask Sam? She seems to enjoy that sort of thing far more than I do, and I'm sure she'd be happy to assist."

"Yeah, but I'm not asking her, I'm asking _you,"_ Brynn said, voice shooting up on the last word. She cleared her throat. " _Please,_ Liara? If it helps, you can pretend you're briefing one of your Shadowbroker agents to... blend in on an undercover mission, or something."

"Oh, alright," Liara said with a resigned smile. She turned from the monitors, looking at Brynn critically. "So if I have this correct, you need to pick an outfit to wear for something you're not sure is a date, but _could_ be a date?"

"Pretty much?"

"I see... Well, you don't wear skirts very often, so I would say wearing pants is a good way of keeping it ambiguous. Something nice, almost business casual. With a light blouse like the one you wore to Flux a few years back, maybe?"

"I liked that shirt. Too bad it went down with the SR-1." She sighed. "Damn Collectors."

"Focus, Shepard."

"Yeah, alright... I bought another just like it." Liara made an amused noise, and Brynn shrugged. "No one said I was queen of _style._ "

"No one would dare accuse you of that," Liara said dryly. "Is that all? Would you like me to _analyse_ the email while we're at it?"

"Hah. All right, fine, I can take a hint, I'll get out of your..." Brynn's eyes strayed up to Liara's smooth head. "...crests? No, that sounds kind of weird."

"A little," Liara agreed. "You can stay here if you like, I just thought you'd be getting on your way soon, considering you have less than half an hour until your date—sorry, your maybe-not-a-date."

"Shit," Brynn said, "is it that time already?" Liara nodded. "Okay, thanks Liara," she said, mind already back to reminding her every way this could possibly go wrong. "Talk to you later, maybe," she said, backing out the automatic doors. Or, probably not. There was only one person she was going to want to see if this went badly, and _god_ she was already regretting her decision to have Garrus go down to the Citadel without her. _Could really use some reassurance right now,_ she thought wryly.

"Hey EDI," Brynn said, as she rode the elevator up to her cabin, "I'm gonna ask you if someone's still on the ship, but I _absolutely_ need you to not let them know I asked you."

"Of course; that is standard procedure for all of your requests."

"Ok, good."

"Neither Garrus nor Kaidan are currently on the ship."

"Wait, what?" Brynn blinked, stared up at a point on the wall. "Alright, who told you?"

"Jeff said you might ask." 

"Of course he did," Brynn muttered.

"He says, good luck on your 'hot date'. His words, not mine."

"It's not..." Brynn sighed. "Tell him he needs to spend less time spying on my personal life and more time flying the ship... but thanks, I guess." 

"He says you're welcome."

As she stepped out into the hall before her cabin, she fought back a smile, shaking her head. "Ass," she muttered, though the knot in her gut loosened somewhat.

* * *

Half an hour later, Brynn was walking down the gleaming white steps through the Presidium Commons, heartbeat quickening with every step. She spotted Kaidan almost instantly, his back to her, sitting at a little table overlooking a scenic stretch of lake below. _Well, h_ _ere goes nothing._ She took a deep breath, resisting the urge to smooth down her pants, and stepped around to the side of the table. "Hey."

Kaidan's head jerked up, blinking hard like he'd been lost in thought. "Oh, hey, you made it."

"Yup," Brynn said awkwardly. 

"Please," Kaidan said, gesturing at the seat opposite him; she sat down. "You look lovely," he added.

"Oh," Brynn said, caught by surprise. A moment later, she realized that wasn't the right answer. "Thanks," she said quickly, face heating as she scrambled for a subject change, "uh, how are you feeling, these days?"

"Better," Kaidan said, nodding. "Feeling up to whatever the Reapers throw at me."

"That's good," Brynn said mechanically. It _was_ good news that he was recovering, but. With Kaidan back on her team, she could see his _physical_ recovery for herself; that was hardly news. And it was hard to match his optimism when it felt like her entire future was hanging on this single conversation. "So, what did you want to talk about?" she said, before he could even _think_ about asking her how she was doing.Answer: _Ask me in five minutes._

Kaidan gave a huff of a laugh. "Yeah, okay. Uh." His hands closed over the menu in front of him, knuckles whitening on the edge of its metal frame. It occurred to Brynn that, despite his collected exterior, Kaidan might have been just as anxious as she was. "I hope you can understand," he started slowly, "if I've ever seemed... hesitant, about this. About us. I haven't had many good experiences with... inter-personal relationships, of _any_ kind, you know? But..." 

He swallowed, eyes flicking to the side then back, mouth pressed tight. "My life flashed in front of my eyes on Mars, and... there weren't enough moments like this. With people I care about." He looked at her steadily now; she hardly dared breathe, as if the smallest movement would shatter everything. "Brynn, I love you," Kaidan said, "you make me so very happy. And I want you to be happy too."

Brynn blinked hard, pulse thundering in her ears. "I know Garrus is important to you," Kaidan was saying, the words reaching her slowly as if through cloudy water, "and he's a good guy, I shouldn't have doubted him, or you." He glanced down at the menu still clenched in his hands, gently set it back on the table with a wince. "I guess what I'm trying to say here is, I'd like to try this, if you'll still have me."

The silence when Kaidan stopped talking took her by surprise; a moment passed, her mouth struggling to form words. "If I'll still..." She trailed to a stop, eyes darting across his face, hardly daring to believe what she'd just heard. _I'd like to—_ He wanted to—"Kaidan, of _course_ I'll—"

The sound of someone clearing their throat burst through Brynn's eardrums like gunfire; both Brynn and Kaidan jumped, heads jerking around to see a salarian standing beside their table, a tray under one arm— _oh god how long was he there—_ "Can I get you something to drink?" He glanced down at their frozen, wide-eyed expressions, his movements comically quick by comparison. "Should I come back?"

Brynn resisted the urge to bury her head in her hands. Barely. "Give... give us a few minutes," Kaidan said, glancing at Brynn with the beginnings of a smile.

"Sure." As the waiter walked away, Brynn gave a humiliated groan, hunching down in her seat. Kaidan chuckled.

Brynn shot him a narrow look. "Are you laughing at me?" she demanded, though her mouth was already ignoring her brain's orders to _stop smiling,_ dammit ( _if you'll still have me; I want you to be happy—)_

"Never," Kaidan said, really, truly smiling now, his eyes creasing at the edges. "At the situation, maybe. You were saying?"

"I don't—" Her brain buzzed with his smile, his words— _You make me so very happy; I love you—_ "I think," Brynn said, resigning herself to the possibility of her face splitting in two on its smile lines, "it was something like _I love you too."_

Kaidan stretched out a hand, and Brynn's hand folded instinctively around his, fingers curled in his. _Of course,_ her brain reminded her, "of course I'll still have you," Brynn murmured, "Kaidan, you make me so happy too. All this time, when we were fighting, when we weren't talking like we used to, it was like a piece of me was missing. I didn't feel right."

"Neither did I," Kaidan said softly. He lifted her hand to his face, turned to press a kiss to her palm. "This feels right."

"Yeah." 

They let their hands drift down to the table, still clasped together, eyes caught in each others'. After a moment, Kaidan's gaze drifted over to the bar, where the salarian waiter was talking to someone behind the bar. "Maybe we should look at those drinks," Kaidan said, mouth tugging up in a grin, "let that poor guy do his job."

Brynn gave a quiet laugh. "Maybe."

Kaidan picked up the menu with one hand, the other still tangled in Brynn's, thumb rubbing soft circles over her hand. "Think they serve a Canadian lager here?"

"More likely to have Batarian Shard wine," Brynn said. "Whiskey?"

"They probably have _something_." He didn't look down at the menu yet, though, his smile wide and bright. "It's not that important."

"Are you going to say something cheesy now about good company making it worth it?" Brynn teased.

"Well, I am _now,"_ Kaidan said, shooting her a cheeky grin, and she laughed. "I would suffer much worse things for the present company."

"Even horrible knock-off beer?"

"Even that."

* * *

It was much later in the afternoon when Brynn returned to the Docks, where Garrus had asked her to meet him. She spotted him by the railing when the elevator doors opened; his head tipped up, eyes brightening as he saw her. "Garrus!" Brynn called, half-running towards him; she flung her arms around him, pulling him down into a hard kiss.

"Wow, hello to you too," Garrus said, grinning as she drew back. "I take it your lunch date went well?"

"He's okay with it!" Brynn exclaimed, "more than okay, Garrus, we're dating again, _we_ can date again!"

Garrus's mouth opened in a crooked grin, light glinting off his visor as he tipped his head to look at her. "Then I guess now I can ask officially: How'd you like to go on a date with me? In, say, about 5 minutes from now?"

"I have to wait _5 whole minutes?"_ Brynn teased, leaning into him.

Garrus put an arm around her. "Well, the shuttle trip's gonna take a few minutes, but I suppose we can just say the date starts now."

"Shuttle trip?" Brynn glanced up at him, eyebrows raised. "You never _did_ tell me what the plan was for today."

"No, I didn't," Garrus said. He gestured at one of the shuttles behind him. "After you."

"Okay..." Brynn said, giving him a suspicious look, but followed him into the shuttle without protest.

They pulled away into the flow of air traffic, Garrus's fingers idly tapping the side of the shuttle as they flew. "Ever have that one thing you always wanted to do before you died?" he asked.

"I've woken up with a turian next to me," Brynn said without skipping a beat.

Garrus gave her an amused look. "Still trying to make me blush, huh?'

She shrugged. "Until it works," she said, any attempt at nonchalance ruined by the wide smile that followed. Frankly, she wasn't going to be able to stop smiling for _weeks._ "So. What's your one thing?"

Garrus's attention returned ahead of them. "The whole time I worked at C-Sec, I'd stare up at the top of the Presidium and say to myself: I want to go up there. I never did," he said, tipping his head, "there were 137 regulations telling me I couldn't."

"So you got them changed?" Brynn asked, picturing a younger, bright-eyed Garrus hounding C-sec's administrators.

Garrus made an amused noise. "No. Now I just don't give a damn." 

_Wait..._ Brynn glanced outside for the first time since they got in the shuttle, at the buildings dropping away beneath them. The shuttle began to slow, and they came to rest on a long, horizontal pillar between buildings. Garrus looked down at her as the shuttle doors opened, held out a hand. "Figured it's time to do something stupid just for the hell of it. Might be the last chance we ever get."

They got out of the shuttle, stepping out onto the untouched white surface, wind picking at Brynn's clothes. Her breath caught; the Citadel stretched out below them, tiny figures like specks of dirt scattered across the winding paths, shuttles trickling across the view. Light glinted off huge swathes of windowed buildings, dripping down to pool in the centre of the lake like the water itself was made of light. "It's incredible," Brynn said, absorbing every detail, trying to trap it in her memory exactly as it was.

"Yeah," Garrus said. He sat down a few feet from the edge, and Brynn followed suit, hands splayed back against the smooth, bare surface. They sat quietly, watching the scurrying of life forms below, the eb and flow of lives that continued to live despite the destruction, despite the mayhem and uncertainty elsewhere in the galaxy. It was reassuring, somehow, even though Brynn knew that, at any moment, the Reapers could come back here to finish the job. Even when faced with certain death, life kept going. 

Brynn tore her gaze away to look up at Garrus; he turned towards her, a question in his look. "I'm glad you're here," Brynn said.

"Me too," Garrus said. "Uh, glad _you're_ here, that is. Though I'm glad I'm here too, since you're here—" 

Brynn laughed. "I know."

"Well. Good." Garrus reached an arm up to his visor, fiddling with it; Brynn gently caught his arm.

"Hey," she said, taking his hand in hers, and he looked down, blinked at her.

"Hey," he breathed. His hand closed over hers: rough, solid fingers engulfing her smaller hands.

"It's been a long, weird couple of months," Brynn murmured. "Thanks for sticking with me. I wasn't sure..." she trailed off, scrunching her face into a grimace. "I'll admit, I had a few doubts. Maybe more than a few."

"Everyone has doubts, Brynn," Garrus said. Brynn made an unsure noise. "I'm serious. Hell, sometimes I'd look at you and Kaidan and wonder, who was I to get between that? You were happy before I ever came into play."

 _"Garrus_ ," Brynn said, staring at him in dismay.

He chuckled. "I know, I know."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"You had other, bigger problems," he shrugged. "Anyway, I didn't give up, did I? And look at us now, everything worked out _amazingly._ I'm dating you, Kaidan's not yelling at you anymore—" Brynn choked on a laugh "—okay, Kaidan's dating you; everyone's happy."

"Garrus," Brynn admonished, and he gave her an innocent look. "You've got to talk to me about these things. That's how this works. If you're having doubts, I want to know."

"Look who's talking," he said with a slight grin.

Brynn gave a huffing laugh. "Okay, I guess we could both work on the whole _communication_ thing," she allowed.

"Probably," Garrus said, nodding absently. He glanced at her sidelong, head tipped. "It was just... a weird thing to talk about, you know? When we were technically _on a break,_ or whatever."

 _Oh. Yeah._ She shot him an apologetic look. "I guess I didn't make that easy on you."

"It's okay," he said softly.

Brynn leaned forward, wrapping her hands around his. "Okay. Well. Whatever it might have seemed in the past, I'm telling you right now, Garrus: I love you," she said emphatically, staring up at him as if she could make him feel the intensity of her feelings just by the force of her gaze. "I care about you, and how you're feeling, and I want you to feel wanted and loved because, hey, did I mention? _I goddamn well love you."_

Garrus laughed, and Brynn's heart fluttered at the sound. "I love you too," he said, head tipping to rest his forehead against hers with a soft thump. His eyes were huge in her vision, a pale blue-grey almost swallowed by black. He blinked slowly, breath tickling her lips, and Brynn tipped her chin forward to kiss him, hands reaching up around his neck even as Garrus pulled her in closer, hands resting at her hips. 

"Hey, Brynn?" Garrus murmured, gently bumping his nose against hers.

"Yeah?"

"Not to ruin the mood, or anything," he said, tracing the side of her face with the flat of a clawed finger, "but I have a confession to make, and I can only keep this to myself for so long."

Brynn leaned back, eyes refocusing on his face. "Oh?"

"Well." Garrus straightened, shoulders back, and Brynn's hands slid down to her lap, waiting attentively. "When I asked you out on this date, I had... another component planned." He stood up, taking a few steps back toward the shuttle; he reached into the back, and pulled out a covered crate, setting it down at his feet.

"What's that?" Brynn asked. In lieu of responding, Garrus reached back into the shuttle, and pulled out a pair of rifles. "Um?"

Garrus grinned. "It's not a date unless you get to shoot something, right?"

Brynn stared as he handed her a rifle, not unlike the ones they'd used on a rooftop almost 3 years ago. A laugh burst out of her. "Garrus Vakarian," she said, as seriously as she could manage while staring down a frankly impressive shit-eating grin, "are we on a _sniper_ date?"

Garrus popped open the crate and retrieved a brightly coloured cannister. "We sure are."

"Does this mean you're finally gonna put your money where your mouth is and show me your _extensive_ sniper skills?" Brynn said, grinning so wide her face felt like it would split.

"You'd better believe it," Garrus said. "Ready to see who's the _real_ sharpshooter around here?"

Brynn tipped her head at him, eyes narrowed playfully. "Bring it on, Vakarian."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ("What exactly is it we're shooting? Are we taking out old C-sec coworkers you didn't like?"  
> "Hah. No.")
> 
> that's it!! this is the fastest i've ever written something this long, and i'm so happy w how it came out... thanks for following the relationship of my fav dorks :3

**Author's Note:**

> and with that we finish our brief me2 summary and get to the bulk of the thing through me3. i have most of the chapters already done for once, so i'll be posting the others as a buffer while i wrestle with the last chapter. back soon!


End file.
